So I got the explanation for the silent treatment from my guy - I'm not the one. And he didn't know how to break it to me.
I know you can't force someone to love you. I know this. But just once, couldn't I be that girl? Not by force, but it just happens, like it's supposed to?
Sometimes I think I'm getting there. And yet instead, I find myself constantly being that girl...that girl that guys will sleep with, but not love; that girl that guys might like as a friend, but not more; that girl that a guy could hang out with from time to time, but not long-term. I'm never that girl who a guy falls in love with.
Why can't I be that girl? I keep going over it in my head, trying to reason it out. If I did this, if I did that, if I was thinner, if I wasn't so independent, if I had a big-shot career, if only...
So, I'm back to being alone. Usually I say that being alone doesn't necessarily mean I'm lonely; they are two different things. Right now, though, they are one in the same.
Because even though I'm not the one...for I while, I thought he was.
2 comments:
You'll be that girl someday. And someone will love you and think you are perfect because of the things that make you human.
Thanks, Nat. It's discouraging though, especially since it seems like everyone around me is married, getting married, or having babies. Not me - just bouncing around like usual. Sigh. And throwing myself a pity party, apparently. Oh well - time to get back out there, I guess...well, maybe in a little while. Need to get over this one...it might take more time than the others have. I got pretty attached. :(
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