Shoes, fabulous shoes

I don't know if it's all the "Sex in the City" DVD's I've been watching or what, but I've been a shoe whore this summer. Yup, you heard it here first: I've become a double-accessory, shoe & purse lovin' shiksa. It's out of control.

Let me just say, in my defense: they shouldn't make turquoise beaded ballet slippers if they don't want me to buy them. Same goes with the black & white backless heels with the cute little flower on the side.

Good thing I get paid today.

A new type of "family togetherness"

So I went up to Duluth this weekend, as my stepbrother Jeff was in town. Soon to be divorced, Jeff was ready to hit it (the bottle, that is) with his brother Brian and their wayward sister Diane. Not to be left out, we invited baby brother Nathan, who turns 23 today. But I digress.

Getting the party started at The Reef (I shit you not, it's really called that) in Duluth, I graciously offer to sober-cab my louts of brothers around for the evening. Let the drinking progress.

First, the Vikings lost. Dammit!

Then, we lost Jeff's stepdad at one of the bars we went to. Now, it takes some doing to lose a 50-ish guy at a college bar, but he was MIA for a good 30 minutes. No clue where he went, but I suspect he hightailed it to a different bar for a decent snifter of brandy.

Finally, the coup de grace, the boys insist that I need to go to the 'Toga. Yup, that's the Saratoga, infamous strip club of the greater Duluth area.

Nothing says family togetherness than putting $1's in a g-string with your brothers. Manda, I have to say it's a worthy sibling bonding exercise...just a suggestion. But please, be drunk enough to swear it didn't happen or that you weren't at fault. In my case, I plead no contest. I was curious to see what it's like.

And with that skanky memory burned into my brain for all time, I leave you.

Damn ducks

Another reminder that people are morons....

So as I cruise down highway 97 (a 2-lane near my school), I see that an old lady is driving a lead car in a 3-car train. That is, the asshole behind her is riding her tail because she isn't hurtling headlong down the highway at breakneck speed, and the car behind him is doing the same.

Suddenly, the lady in front hits the brakes, forcing the tailgater in the HUGE pickup to swerve around her...into my lane! Now the truck is aimed at me! Meanwhile, the third car swerves into the ditch to avoid the lady with the brakes on. The truck flashes back into his own lane, and I catch the driver clearly shouting epithets for his near miss. The little old lady has come to a damn-near stop on the highway as I go by, and the final car is trying to get back out of the ditch.

The cause of all this hoopla, during which my 26 years on this planet have flashed before my eyes and I nearly peed my pants? Four little duckies, trying to cross the road, and one little old lady, who apparently felt their lives were more important than those of the people driving around her.

Bitch.

The countdown is on...

The countdown to the first days of school is on! I don't know where the summer has gone, seriously. Especially that night out with the girls (how many bottles of wine was that?)!

Of course, as our first pay day approaches, how else do I reflect on the wonders of my job? I send out a mass email inviting everyone I work with to come drink with me! That's right, I am encouraging public consumption of alcoholic beverages at the townie bar we hang at (Geb & Manda, you've been there!).

Here's to many Friday funfests as I enter this, my 4th year of building a better America!