The "Dilemma"

Ok, so it's not really a dilemma, because I know what to do. But it's still making me crazy, so I need to vent! Bear with me as I bare my problems to the light of day.

I started seeing this guy J in July. We met on match.com, and had a few nice dates before we jumped in the sack. Now, we get along great and all that, but at one point J said to me that he just didn't "feel that special, undefinable something" between us. OK. So I thought, "Well, at least I've got someone to call for booty." Fine, whatever. We've pretty much just been bed buddies since mid-July. (Although, I have to say, why is it that I'm never the girl that has "that quality" or whatever!?)

The agreement between us is that if the other person starts something elsewhere, it's time to end our hookup. We just need to communicate with each other to put an end to things. Sounds very solid and grown-up, right?

Well...it's time. I'm into this guy B; also a match.com person. We've been out a handful of times, and I stayed there last night...ya know. I haven't been with J for at least 2 weeks in that sense, and don't plan to again. But I feel like I should see him to tell him I'm moving on. How, then, does one set up a "I-don't-want-to-sleep-with-you-anymore" date that isn't really a date?

Mostly, I'm just chickenshit, because despite what he says, I feel like this is going to hurt him, he'll feel rejected, etc. and that it makes me a bad person or something. I know, I know - NOT logical. But still...I never hurt people if I can possibly avoid it. Maybe this is just a situation in which it cannot be avoided?

Thoughts, friends? Suck it up? Blow him off? Do 'em both? (just kidding on that one)