Why Cars Suck: An Ode to Suck-dom
by Diane Dugas
You run for a while,
you big shitty pile,
and then
you just break on down.
You were crusing just fine
through so many county lines
why then
did you have to break down?
As soon as I thought I was home free
you, my car, said, "nuh-uh, it's not to be!"
And sputtered to a halt
amid snow, dirt and salt
right there on 35-E. (well, it was 35-W, but that doesn't rhyme with anything)
So I cruised off the road, almost into a ditch,
and called my Uncle Mitch.
Who came
with a gas can for me.
Alas, it wasn't the gas
the engine just wouldn't last
So we called
a tow truck instead.
The car's now in the shop
the bill's going to pop
my eyes
right outta my head.
I picked up a rental
and am trying not to go mental
but my mind
keeps on thinking, "For real?!"
So I am waiting to hear
from my mechanic so dear
who will call
soon to tell me the deal.
In the meantime dear clan
I am without Grand Am
it's a sad, sad, sad
state of affairs.
My thoughts of a spa day
or a trip to somewhere far away
are subsumed now
by the cost of car repairs.
4 comments:
Oh no! What a sucky bummer?!!? Hope things are fixed soon and you are back on the road safely!
Very creative with the poem tho. Love it.
I had to do something to channel my angst...poetry seemed appropriate!
Hilarious poem. You should send it in to Cat Talk.
I just don't get cars. We have this weird parking thing where you aren't allowed to park on the street in Providence overnight so we have to park both the cars in the back yard end to end with one front end up against the fence(so one car is always parked in). Our landlady gets the garage but she's been out of town so we've been putting the red one in the garage and the green machine was backed up so it wasn't up against the fence and could get out easier in case it snowed. I tried driving the green machine on Sunday to give her some exercise and she just wouldn't turn over. We weren't sure what to do - if we should call a tow truck or what. We decided to wait until landlady got back for a mechanic recommendation. Then she called yesterday saying she'd be back early and that she'd need the garage back. Dean and I headed out last night to try to push it the 15 feet up against the fence and she started beautifully. WTF?
Wow, sorry, I meant Car Talk. Crazy cat lady in me coming out. There should definitely be a Cat Talk on NPR though. That'd be awesome.
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